i read a post on social media that said, “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always.”
i want to take this moment to thank everyone who has been kind to me over this past year, and i hope i’ve been kind to those when they needed kindness. still i’m relieved to see 2013 end, and i’m so very grateful i still have my health, because i have never been more relieved to have a year end than i am this year.
it was the year i put half my life on hold, questioned my judgments, and lost all confidence in myself as a writer, a reader, a person… a friend.
it was the year i let people down and people let me down, and i realized that relationships change, and sometimes you lose people you love, especially if the priority is not made to keep them in your life.
but it was also the year i learned to rebuild my self-worth, manage my expectations, and dig out of the hole with a spoon.
maybe i drank.
maybe i’m drinking as i write this.
i’ve spouted truths like, “i’m a very private person,” and i’ve meant it, but i also started this blog as a way to document this part of my life. to be able to look back and find validation in my choices.
and so that’s why i’m sharing that i’m so very glad this year is ending. i’m exhausted and drained and unwilling to put up with crappy things happening in my life. and it’s a great time to be alive, because thanks to social media, i’ve connected with some really great people. people going through exactly the same situations as me, but in their own way. and some people who are completely put together and motivating and helping me see the light ahead.
so on the days when i’m simply overwhelmed by everything, when mean-spirited people email me nasty notes, or when i see no reason to put effort into anything, i remind myself that if i set tiny goals, easy goals, i’ll have many successes, and maybe tomorrow i can reach for achieving something more than simply finishing my cup of espresso without hyperventilating because there aren’t enough hours in the day.
so it took a major breakdown, giving up, letting go, and starting over to put it all in perspective…
here’s to 2014!